You know what kills me? Not following through on my commitments. It literally kills me to not stick with plans I’ve made, to reach goals I’ve set, to not reach whatever the best or perfection standard is. I get down on myself if I’m not exceeding my own expectations. But really, life is not about any of those things. Those things aren’t what really matter. I’m blessed in so many ways, yet it can be easy to take those things for granted because it’s easy to get wrapped up in life — successes, accomplishments, plans and everything else in between.
Earlier this summer I started running more in preparation for the North Face Endurance Half Marathon that I signed up for with my friend Margeaux. I soon realized that a hip injury I was suffering from had worsened to the point of unbearable amounts of radiating pain and running was only making it worse – along with sitting, standing, carrying my children, just about everything. I wrote here that I finally made it a priority to get it checked out and started a treatment plan with a Physical Therapist. In addition to treatment though, I just needed time to recover. I really did need to make the determination between could do and should do in terms of running the race. I’m really good at pushing myself beyond necessary limits, so surely I could run the half. This is where the decision killed me a little {at first}.
I was wrapped up in the fact that I signed up and shared with the world {or at least all of you following along here ?} that I was going to run the North Face Endurance Half Marathon as my first trail race. I put it out in the universe for goodness sake; I surely had to follow through! But, when I realized that I was finally overcoming the pain, was feeling good in the healing process and when my mind was clear, I realized that the decision to run the half marathon would kill me more than making the decision not to run it.
It’s funny how life does that sometimes, right? How it takes your weak points and challenges them to the utmost. The North Face run is only one example, but the decision to not run the half was one of those times that reminded me what I need to be doing more often. I need to be showing myself grace, focusing on the positives, what really matters and finding joy in every single thing I do. {Yes, continue my journey in mindful living!} And to not be so darn hard on myself. So, as we pulled up to Kettle Moraine State Park today so that I could run my 10K instead, I couldn’t help but smile because I was enjoying the moment, the decision and the support from my little family. It was perfect. Okay, maybe not entirely perfect because the first 5 miles were pretty consistently UP HILL and because the girls were pretty darn tired today, but you get what I mean.
Maven’s expression! ☺️ She was excited to run her 1K until she saw the “puppets” AKA characters that were there to run with the kids.
This girl just wants to grow up toooo fast.
Isn’t she just so sweet? Her little shoes are Robeez. Perfect shoes for learning to walk.
It was a beautiful day. Warm, sunny and simply gorgeous for Wisconsin’s fall. The trails were fun; I absolutely love the running community. I joked to Mark that I was more of a participant than a racer because I simply hadn’t trained as much as I normally prefer to, but I actually had a pretty good finish. Seeing Mark, Maven and Sylvie at the end was just what I needed, too. Those three make my life everything and more.
So here’s to a new week. A week of not killing ourselves. Not putting ourselves down. Not setting unrealistic expectations. Not worrying about what others think. Not getting wrapped up in anything other than what actually matters and to only “running” on positive vibes. Happy Monday, everyone!
XO