Let me be real for a minute here. I’ve worried about Sylvie developing Middle Child Syndrome. What does that mean, you may ask? Apparently (said the middle child herself) it’s a real thing where middle children feel ignored or unseen by parents and that they have to work harder to be heard. If you google it, you’ll find plenty of resources that will tell you this is a real life thing.

Mark and I have always wanted our children to feel special, seen and heard, but there’s something unique in my heart about Sylvie’s middle-child placement that has made me a little more aware of how she’s reacted to the transition of adding Rush to our family.

         Related: How We Are Transitioning from 2 to 3 Kids

As of lately, it’s been so much easier for me to just take Rush along if I’m running errands (life of a breastfeeding mama) + Maven requests to have time with just me, so I’ll take her alone from time-to-time too. As I’m looking back on the past five months, I haven’t had a ton of alone time with Sylvie other than moments at nap, bedtime, playing here and there, etc.. And that has made me feel some sort of way…

This past weekend I had the opportunity to just take her along with me to run a couple of quick errands. I was so excited. Really excited. She wasn’t as eager to leave with me, but I told her it would be super fun and super special.

I chatted with her as I buckled her in the car seat, brought her a little snack in case she would want one, buckled up and put on some of her favorite songs as we went on our way. I asked “Sylvie, isn’t this so fun? I’m so happy to spend some time with you. Are you excited too?” And she was so. quiet.

I talked to her throughout the car ride but she was unusually quiet. It dawned on me that we were both confused as to what to talk about without our master conversationalist on board with us too, AKA Maven.

We got to the store, I took her out and did some fun mama stuff while running through the snowstorm into the store. You know things that would make her giggle and think the silliness was so fun. I got a few smiles and plopped her in the cart. I talked to her about what we were looking for at the store and told her maybe we could get her a little something too. She just asked what I thought Dad, Maven and Rush were doing back at home.

Fast forward to our next and final errand – Target, which she l o v e s – and she was still not her smiley, funny, chatty, active, usual self. I asked if she was tired and she said no. We had some conversation, she didn’t ask me to buy her anything and me? I was enjoying the peacefulness of having just one child with me. I was enjoying my time with just her.

We got back in the car to venture home and she was just looking out her window. We talked a bit about what we would do when we got back to see everyone. She asked about Rush needing my boobies (typical) and I finally asked her what she was thinking about. I miss Maven, she said.

 

And then my heart skipped a beat.

 

Those moments when I’ve been worried about Middle Child Syndrome, or thought that I haven’t been spending enough duration of one-on-one time with my sweet Sylvie, they were all over thinking things on my end. Here my sweet, sweet girl is the middle child and I think she actually loves it. She loves her big sister and little brother. She wants to be with Maven. She missed her! Sylvie didn’t even view our trip together as the ultimately cool, special trip that I was making it out to be. And in turn, she obviously doesn’t feel like I’m not giving her enough attention.

A sense of peace came over me. I don’t need to worry about birth order traits (as of yet). My children, even at such young ages, are already experiencing what a blessing siblings can be. I want these babes of mine to grow up being foundations for one another, best friends really, relationships + people they can always rely on. And it turns out, they are already on the path to being just that. We may have the occasional sister fights and little brother smothers ?, but really, this trio we are raising loves on each other with their whole hearts.

I’m going to continue to nurture that and worry a little less about those birth order traits. But also, I want to savor time that I get to have each of them alone too. Motherhood, such a balancing act. ❤

 

XO