I try to do a lot of different things in my life. I’m actually a firm believer in try, try, try and try some more because with hard work and dedication, anyone can do just about anything. You see though, I think there is a difference in what some people define as trying. Trying in a literal sense means you are attempting to do something and this is the definition I see most carried out. What I often see and experience is that it’s easy to try – or say you are going to try – but for whatever reason, we are held back from what we are actually trying to do. Which leads me to what I’m feeling compelled to say: Just stop trying.

Trying is so.exhausting. It’s this circle of expending energy and getting nowhere. Am I right? I think there is something we are all trying to do that is tiring us out to the utmost because we are getting nowhere with it. Maybe it’s only one thing, or maybe it’s multiple things, regardless — it’s time to make a change.

Whatever it is you are trying to do surely means something to you otherwise you wouldn’t put it on your to-do list or make it a priority in your life. So why are you letting yourself be held back? And if you put that something on your list but it doesn’t mean something to you, well that is surely why you aren’t really trying. Trying in a deeper sense of the word is not just attempting but actually striving to put forth effort and take action to some sort of end. I would like to simply call this doing and will adjust my belief statement from above. I am a firm believer in do, do, do, do, do.

Disclaimer: If you are trying to do something but aren’t dedicated to it, stop trying and take it off your plate. It’s taking up space and contributing to the cycle of expending energy + going nowhere. Don’t do it. On the contrary, if you are dedicated to it and it is meaningful in your life, stop trying and start doing. Put forth the effort. What is it you are trying to do but should really just start doing instead?

Do you want to spend more quality time with your family? Do it. Put down your phone. Take away the distractions. Carve out time. Leave work at the office. Whatever it is you need to do –Do it.

Are you trying to lose weight? Reach a fitness goal? Do it. Stop falling in cyclical traps of yo-yo dieting or here-and-there exercise. Put together a reasonable plan and follow through with it.

Do you want to be a better friend? Then be a better friend. Call your friend(s). Text your friend(s). Send a card to friend(s). Schedule a date with friend(s), even if it is months in advance because your calendars just don’t align.

Do you want to focus on the true meaning of the holiday season and not get beaten down by the gift giving, the endless gatherings or holiday travel? Then focus on it. Put your blinders on and don’t fall into the “buy more” trap. Narrow down your gathering schedule or embrace the time because it only comes once a year. How ever you want to focus on it, make it happen.

I understand this is a shift in mindset. For a culture that tries and tries until we reach some sort of success, actionable doing should be something we are familiar with. But, life is full and thus we try much more often than we do. I think this is partially because doing is not always easy. In fact, I believe doing can be the harder path most of the time. It can be really hard to spend quality time with others without any distractions in front of us or at our fingertips. Just like it can be really hard to always make the right food choices, exercise regularly, connect with friends and not get caught up in the holiday hustle. I have to say though, I’ve found most often in my life that the hard stuff comes with good rewards. Therefore, I am going to put forth the effort to DO. Will you?

XO

P.S. Actions to Support a Revolution in Caring & Why You Should Break Up With Her