I’m just gonna get straight to the list:

1. I laughed to myself when I found out Sylvie has a double ear infection.

2. I bribed my children with pez so they would cooperate while at the doctor’s office.

3. I met my three year old’s snarky attitude with my own snarky attitude . VERY OFTEN.

4. Maven has chipped nail polish on from over a month ago that I keep telling her I will take off. And though she asks me about it relatively frequently, I still haven’t.

5. I’ve failed to remember (for weeks) to take family photos into Sylvie’s classroom so she can have a family board for comfort if she’s having a difficult drop off.

6. I didn’t change Rush’s diaper in the night and then in the morning found he had been sleeping in wet pajamas.

7. All three children were crying uncontrollably and I stopped my efforts to calm them to take a quick Instagram Stories video.

 

Now for my rationalizations:

The ear infection? We’ve been through the RINGER with illness this winter. (Get caught up with details here.) The pez? Taking three children to the doctor while one is incredibly sick and sassy and full of tears requires the good stuff. The attitude? Not my brightest moment, but see: The Strong-Willed Child. Nail Polish? One. More. Thing. To. Do. Family photos to school? UGH. Another thing. The failed diaper change? I’m literally a zombie and could not get out of bed and down the hall to his nursery to change it. The Instagram Stories? Well, honestly, it was probably the most replied to IG Story I’ve ever posted. And you know what that tells me?

That I’m not alone.

So, maybe you read this list and thought:

• “You poor thing.”
• “Just print the pictures and take them to her classroom already + take that nail polish off while you’re at it!”
• “I would never let my child sleep in wet, pee soaked pajamas.”

But honestly, based on the response from my Instagram Stories and if I listen to my gut, it tells me more of you may have read the list and thought:

• “Oh my gosh, me too!”
• “Ugh, those just another thing to do tasks!”
• “Girl, that’s nothing compared to what I’ve done (or not done)…”
• “Pez? That’s healthier than what I bring for my kids.”
• “Your three children? That’s nothing. I have five!”
• ” {Insert I-so-get-it-laughter}”

So if you’re in the latter category, can I tell you something?

I see you.

I see you trying hard and praying for patience. I see you – SO tired – getting up every single night with your baby(ies). I see you teaching your children the right things such as listening, cooperating and behaving when at the doctors office. And I totally get that it sometimes takes a little extra incentive. I see you and your lengthy to-do list. I see you making an effort to put that to-do list aside and be present with your children. I see your heart and how much love, admiration and dedication it has for your kids. I see that it’s challenging and exhausting and that sometimes your chaos feels never-ending. And I see that through all of that you still show up. You do your best. You seek joy. You love hard.

I didn’t anticipate the day I popped a video up of my three kids uncontrollably crying on good ol’ Insta would make me feel this way, but based on the “you are not alone” cries I had in response, I was reminded that WE ALL STILL EARN THE GOLD.

So mama, if today is hard, I see you + give you the gold. If tomorrow is hard, you still earn it. If your baby slept in wet pajamas or you lost your cool with your threenager or whatever it is you think you did that didn’t earn you the gold… I promise, you still deserve it. Wear it proudly — on your greatest mama days and the ones where you feel less than. You’ve totally got this.

XO

P.S. You will want to read this post because sometimes we have to fake it until we make it: How To Look Like You Have It Together, Even When You Really Don’t.