Happy Monday, everyone!

We are still on vacation – yes such a long, glorious getaway – and believe it or not, my mom is now on vacation just a short distance away from where we are. We are excited because she is stopping by to see us tomorrow. Of course I’ve talked to her multiple times since we’ve been here, because if you’re anything like me, you talk to your mom on the regular. I swear there’s just something wired in me to call my mom if something is going on in my life. Or if nothing is going on in my life. I sometimes joke with my coworkers that adult children put more demand on their mothers during the day than young children due to the sheer volume of texts, phone calls, emails and all other correspondence that take place each day. We laugh a little about it because it’s a pretty true statement, and because I know both of them talk to their moms daily too.

I’m really excited to host my mom for an interview on this blog today. She has nearly 35 years of experience in the motherhood department and always seems to have sound advice and insights when I ask her parenting questions – or life questions for that matter – while being respectful of the decisions Mark and I make. If you know my mom, you know she is sweet and genuine, has a beautiful heart and a knack for making everyone feel comfortable. If you don’t know her, she is one of those people that will make your life better. She’s shown me what the unconditional love of a mother looks like. She is and always has been one of my biggest supporters and stands behind me in all that I do. I am truly grateful for her and am honored that she was willing to share some of her wisdom here.

I asked her a series of questions and really just left it open ended. I wanted to have her genuine voice shine through, and it totally does. Plus if you have any questions, just ask my mom, she has lots of good answers. So, I’ll just jump right into what I asked and hope that you gain a little bit of your own wisdom from what she had to say.

 

What is the best part about being a mom?

The best part about being a mom is all the love that fills my heart and the feeling of being proud of my children. And now, I love being a Grandma as it has added a whole new dimension to that love.

What is the hardest thing about being a mom? 

When your children are small and even when they are grown, you want everything for them to be “OK” and to fix everything for them. But, we all know that is not reality. Even more than that, it is an essential part of learning and growing to face challenges, learn from mistakes and work through life’s difficulties. The reward of being a mom in these hard situations is that you can help. You can be a good listener, offer some of your own life’s wisdom, and provide encouragement and love to help guide your children through whatever it is life has given them to endure. In the end, you can remind them to look back and see that they successfully arrived to the “other side” of their challenge. Keep in mind that there are some challenges in life that you are not able to “successfully” work through. That is okay. Continue to be proud of your and your children’s accomplishments, knowing it will make you a stronger person as well as giving you the experience to help others who may face the same challenges.

What is (or was) your biggest fear as a mother? 

I can hardly say the words– “losing a child”.

Looking back, what would you have cared less about when your children were young? 

As a young mother, I had visions and expectations of how an event would take place (i.e.  a family holiday, vacation, etc.). Being a mother of 4, the expectations of perfection never really occurred, often times leaving me disappointed. What I learned along the way was to enjoy the time with my family without conditions. I learned to take charge of what I could control and then let the rest go. Live in the moment and enjoy what the day offered to our family. I was choosing to be happy! As my Dad used to say “do your best and let God do the rest”.

What is one thing you never had that you want for your kids? 

A strong partner/spouse.

How has being a parent changed you? 

For me, there is no other role as important as being a parent (and did I mention also being a grandparent?). It is engrained in my heart and soul. Almost 35 years of being a mother has helped to shape who I am as an adult and graced me with a lot of life’s wisdom.

What is your best advice for moms of toddlers? 

Save the “No’s” for the important stuff. If what they are doing is not going to harm anyone, let it go. Stick to basic good manners. Remain calm. Take a deep breath and step out emotionally when disciplining toddlers and children of all ages. Keep in mind the goal and the big picture. There are many phases to toddler years and childhood and by the time you figure one out, they are on to the next phase.

What is your funniest memory of having teenagers? 

Having 4 children offers a lot of fun memories. One that comes to mind is two of my teens sent me a picture of themselves in a dressing room at the store with children’s Halloween costumes on. I have evidence to share of this one.

What do you want to share with moms reading this? 

Be the best you can be with the life God gave you. Lead by example. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t worry about tomorrow, it will take away from the beauty of today. Carp Diem! Choose to be happy and your family will be happy – it is often as simple as that. There are no right or wrong ways to raise your family as long as it is with LOVE! Love your children unconditionally. You may have visions for your children, but each child is different and shapes their own lives, personalities and opinions. Help them blossom into who they were born to be. Each of my 4 children is amazing in their own special way. They all have different personalities, have chosen different career paths, different spouses and parenting styles. But, they all share the same core values. How cool is that?!

Fill in the blank: I’ve come to realize that people… 

…are busy.  It seems life has gotten busier just because it has more options. There are also more working moms and more technology at our fingertips. I recall the best times in my life with my family were not busy ones, but rather sitting on the front porch after dinner together talking about everything and anything, eating a batch of popcorn and watching our favorite Friday night shows together, or packing a picnic and going to the lake for the day. Ah…those were the good ol’ days!

What would you like to communicate to other women about their relationship with their moms?

Treasure that relationship. My mother was always loving and supportive in my life. (My dad was too.) I feel so blessed to have had this relationship with her, even later in life when it was long distance. Now that she is gone, I treasure my memories of her and want to pass down to my children and grandchildren what she taught me. And for those of you with siblings, treasure this relationship as well. My sister Linda and I have been best friends all our adult lives. I can’t imagine my life without her. I believe my children have the same treasure with each other. Never take your relationship with your family for granted.

Finally, what is your motherhood mantra?

Live by the Fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

 

Motherhood is an amazing venture. We all do it differently, yet similarly. We all rely on one another as a support network and whether or not we may say “I will never be like my mother”, we can all thank our moms for getting us to where we are today. Thank you so much to my mom for extending her wisdom to readers here and for living her motherhood mantra to the fullest. ❤️

 

XO